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March 31 2012

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Joad Cressbeckler Denies He Incited Mob To Drag Congressman Through Briar Patch - YouTube onion

- NASA euthanizes final Astronaut
- 14 Dolphins dead today - more Dolphin Death News on ONN Dolphin Death Channel
- New from Philadelphia: Girl who enjoys talking loudly about sex hideous
- CIA lags behind FBI in annual standardized intelligence tests
- CNN to merge with Barbara, who has the 411 on everyone
- Fire spreads from Community College to nearby real College
- New study finds cell phones dirtier than toilet seats among people who defecate on their cell phones
- charter school program hope to revolutionize inner cities by making kids wear ties and nice pants to their underperforming schools
- study: 90% of all offers for help just thinly disguised sexual come-ons
- madman witnessed purchasing bread for $9
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